Then the world came crashing down

Dear god.....where to start? Is this a nightmare? I pray so and would give anything to wake up and this all be a bad, bad dream. I came home from work and found my dear sweet mother on the floor(with the broom beside her)she was so weak she could not get up. I asked her how long she had been there and she said "not too long" in a quiet whisper. I lifted her up and then got down on all fours and to show her how to get up on her own should this happen again. (I am a caregiver!!! I take care of sick people!!! Why wasn't I home????) She seemed to be okay but weak. My father had gone to a doctors appointment less than five minutes away. But he was gone longer than expected and mom can't talk only whisper since getting cancer of the lymph nodes. I had just returned home after being gone to work for a week. On a week/ off a week. Mom always trying to do things even though she just had chemo and was so ill. Why sweep?? Mom felt really tired after this so she took a pain pill and went to bed. The next morning my father was scheduled for eye surgery- a van picked him up and I drove mom to the cancer center. She was bruised terribly from her fall. She didn't want me to tell them about the fall but I did. The doctor decided nothing was broke but prescribed more pain medication because her back was hurting. They thought it might be due to new medication. Mom needs assistance walking and getting up or down. This frightens me. Mom has always been so strong. Weds - mom still so weak. I put on her makeup for her! OMG. Her back really hurts. When we get to the cancer center we talk to the doctor. He tells her to take two pain pills in am/one in pm. Mom worries about getting addicted. Bless her heart. I worry my mother is hurting. Thursday my father takes her to cancer center and they run blood work. They also decide to do MRI on her back. Mom and dad get home from doctor and instantly get call - Mom's blood level is dangerously high. She could bleed to death internally - dad takes her to ER immediately. They have no rooms available for two days! Mom is in ER room with curtain but they do finally bring a hospital bed. Then we get MRI results - three fractures in her spine by her neck and her heart rate has gone crazy as well. One minute beating out of her chest - the next far too slow! Mom is frightened. We are too. Dad and I stay with her. Family streams in from everywhere. Next we get word that my fathers brother has passed away. My dad is sad. My mom is too but she is so ill. Finally, mom gets a PCU room. Dad stays with mom and I go home. I am worried because mom doesn't seem to be breathing correctly. The next morning at five dad calls me frantic and tearful "tam - mom stopped breathing" I said "dad are they working on her?" He said "yes" I tell him I am on way. My husband and I drive frantically and when we get there mom is now in ICU on life support. The doctor tells us they will try and let her breath on her own the next morning. They doubt it will work. Two days later she is able to breath on her own - good news? Then she catches pnemonia, we are told the cancer has spread to her spine and all over her body, her heart will not work correctly again without pacemaker but she is not strong enough to survive surgery. They tell us it is time for Hospice and I (the daughter) must break the news to mom. I tell mother that she always told me to tell her the truth and so I told her that I wanted her to come home and I wanted to take care of her, I see in mothers eyes the fear of what I am telling her. My heart just breaks. My strong beautiful mother - I am so sorry that I had to say those words to you. Please know it would be an HONOR to care for you. You are my heart. You are my mommy. Let me just say that the pnemonia worsened after this and that her heart just gave out. Within two days after my telling my mother about hospice she took a final breath and left us. Mom I love and miss you so much. Please come home and let this be a bad, bad dream.